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jumpingjaverts:

jumpingjaverts:

jumpingjaverts:

jumpingjaverts:

whats the difference between outlaws and inlaws

outlaws are wanted

come on reblog this my grandma told me this joke and was convinced she was going to be famous on tumblr for it

every time my mom and grandma get into an argument my grandma says “excuse me pamela i am famous on the tumbler”

(via dreamless-1n-early-graves)

Source: jumpingjaverts
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gaydicks420:

last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.

(via dreamless-1n-early-graves)

Source: gaydicks420
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herbertwest:

miss-mother-fucker:

There’s an outbreak of malaria. 

Everyone takes the necessary precautions to avoid mosquitoes. 

You’re outside, when a mosquito lands on your arm. 

You raise your hand to it, ready to kill it. 

Then it squeaks. Curious, you lower your ear to it. 

You can just barely make out “Not all mosquitoes”. 

m’laria

(via cheetotears)

Source: miss-mother-fucker
Photo

sonicherosfan:

this screencap is literally all you need to know about Shrek the Musical

(via crystallized-teardrops)

Source: sonicherosfan
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queendread:

I don’t understand the USA, all your roads are straight and all your cities look like they were planned using Excel.

Everyone knows the only way to build a city is to wait until a bunch of tiny villages merge together over centuries and create a sprawling clusterfuck of winding roads that make no sense and have no street signs and are impossible to navigate unless you’ve lived there all your life.

image

(via cheetotears)

Source: queendread
Photo Set
Video

too-punk-to-function:

thestormofbastille:

philplz:

evanedinger:

JUST WATCH THIS PLEASE

I hit reblog so fast I broke my computer.

tears are streaming down my face

(via thefuuuucomics)

Source: evanedinger
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high-energy-introvert:

•go to the bathroom to escape

•feel very uncomfortable without a phone or some other crutch

•dwell on a small awkward for much longer than necessary

•never go to any social event without a person that makes you feel comfortable

•follow said person way too much

•worry about the person beginning to find you obnoxious

•faking an illness to get out of a social event

(via dreamless-1n-early-graves)

Source: high-energy-introvert
Photo Set

khionexiovi:

Puberty: American Dad style

You have no idea how long I was waiting for this

(via dreamless-1n-early-graves)

Source: aaronjramseys
Link

The Most Hilarious Yahoo! Answers Questions & Answers

ciaragoestohollywood:

usofmace:

scottov:

jesusiswhatthisworldneeds:

sarahsparklez:

I present you the very first weirdos Yahoo! had to with before Tumblr.

Gallery

IM IN LOVE WITH MY DOG!? EVERYTIME HE PLAYS WITH OTHER DOGS I GET REALLY JEALOUS!? ROFLLLLL

These are hilarious lol

They’re forgetting that weirdo that fed blood of her tampon to her boyfriend because she wanted to turn him into a vampire. 

or the crazyh lady that masturbated with an egg, and FORGOT it was in there..

THE EGG LADY SERIOUSLY SCARRED ME FOR LIFE

(via thefuuuucomics)

Source: overentertainment.com
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atheistj:

Movie Producers be like: “Female led movies just aren’t as successful as male led movies.”

And Angelina be like: image

$170 million worldwide!

(via khaleesi-at-221b)

Source: atheistj
Audio

kamikazegarage:

blackumi:

hex-central:

killthroat:

Scientists and music professors at Cambridge University came together to find the saddest song ever made. They went through thousands and thousands of music sheets, some even dating back to the 16th century. They went through composers like Mozart, Beethoven, Franz Schubert and Johann Sebastian Bach. They tested the songs on hundreds of different people, observing The Limbic system, which is the part of the brain which controls emotion, like sadness, happiness and anger. After 7 years of research and observation, they finally found a song which made 94.7% of listeners cry or feel an overwhelming of sadness come across them. This is the song they found.

i felt things i’ve never felt before

Literally, brought me to tears from the past memories that this song caused to resurface.

I’m crying right now. I just can’t

(via khaleesi-at-221b)

Source: gothaliens
Photo Set

buttsquadron:

nasturbate:

ahh yes the basketball. males 12+ only. nice

It’s because women’s league regulation basketballs are one inch smaller in diameter than male league balls holy shit guys it’s just trying to identify what sort of league play it’s designed for

(via awesomeness2)

Source: nasturbate
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monobeartheater:

dimpleforyourthoughts:

i just want a boy who touches me distractedly

like sitting watching a movie and he just kinds of drags his fingers over your skin while watching and he doesn’t have a motive he’s not trying to tickle you or be sexual with you he’s just touching your skin and feeling the shape of your bones under that skin like it’s physically comforting for him to know that you’re there right under his fingertips

oh fuck i didnt know girls liked when i did this

(via imaginelivinglikeakingsomeday98)

Source: dimpleforyourthoughts
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